Seminyak, South Bali – is there a worse place to visit?

After the serenity and beauty of Bukit Lawang and the Sumatran jungle, I wanted to go to Bali to take another swing at surfing, since I learned earlier this year. The beaches around the southern part of Bali are famous for it, but I’d also been told that Kuta is nothing but a party scene, that I’d hate it, and to stay in one of the other towns. I tried Seminyak, instead, and I still hated it.

I honestly think that, objectively, even if I hadn’t just come from somewhere so amazing, I would hate Seminyak. 1-it’s overrun with drunk Australian university students. 2-it’s full of rich British tourists who have come to do nothing but shop. Because of this, there’s nothing but bars, nightclubs, and expensive stores everywhere. I wanted none of those.

I was lucky enough to have the window seat in the emergency row, so the extra leg room was nice on the flight from Medan, Sumatra to Denpassar, Bali. They made the announcements in Indonesian and then English; interestingly, the guy next to me kept trying to translate the Indonesian for me, until I said, “If you just wait, I could hear the English part, but thanks.” A for effort, but failure on execution.

When I showed up to check in at my hostel and saw this on the list of rules (not that I disagree but the fact that there’s a need to express this), I knew I was in a place I wouldn’t like:

Additionally, the hostel wifi was awful, which is bad for someone who works online, and the only common space was the bar, which is the last place I want to hang out. Also, all of the rooms connect from the bar, so there’s loud music & people smoking just outside your room at all hours of the night. The staff don’t do anything remotely close to enforcing the “please be quiet after midnight” signs, either, and I chewed out the overnight guy for the blaring music at 3am keeping me awake whilst wearing ear plugs. The ONLY redeeming quality of the Capsule Hostel in Seminyak is that they have the most comfortable bed I’ve slept on in a long time.

Anyway…
I wound up not surfing at all, because I couldn’t stand dealing with any of the people in this area, didn’t want to talk to anyone, and found everything really expensive in southern Bali. I also cussed out a few people at my hostel, like some young Swiss people who were using a hairdryer and turned on the lights in the room after midnight, so they could get ready for a night of partying. No. Just no.

I only wound up staying in the area 2 nights, took very few pictures, and even managed to find a sinkhole in a sidewalk, into which I fell while wearing flip-flops, cutting my foot open, necessitating a walk back to the hostel while bleeding. It was just one of those experiences. “Seminyak.”

I was so unhappy in the area that these are literally the extent of all pictures I took:

The only highlights were finding a coffee shop with fast internet, where they didn’t care that I holed up all day to avoid my hostel, and the Earth Cafe, which had great vegan food (except for the milkshakes, which were way too thin & runny to count as a milkshake) for OK prices.

Seminyak: shake the dirt off your feet as you leave this place.

I got a recommendation that Ubud, further into the center of Bali, is much better, less of a tourist trap, and more authentic, so I made a booking to head that way.

May you rot & burn, south Bali.

Next post: authentic Balinese culture in Ubud.